It's ok if you secretly wanted to be my friend now that you've seen my house.
It's ok if you secretly wished this was your house.
We can still be friends if you have dreamed your whole life of living in a house like this.
BUT
We will be best friends forever if your preferred reaction was to throw up a little bit and then wonder who occupies this disaster of a house.
For as much as we know about the inhabitants of the house, there is still so much that we don't know. I know that the house is next door to my 900 year old midget piano teacher. I do know that my piano teacher is mad that the value of her house is going down with the addition of each new pillar. I do know that is is nicely nestled in an otherwise perfectly normal and upscale neighborhood. I do know that I usually accidentally drive the long way to work so that I can have the honor of a drive by (in case there have been additions.) I do know that the owners would be shocked to know that someone disapproved of their decor.
At this very moment you are probably asking yourself "But what are they doing with all that stuff?" Please. The question is, What aren't they doing with all that stuff? The possibilities are endless. I mean, it is perfectly normal to have a water-less fountain, ten pillars topped with life-sized cherubs, a gothic stone gazebo and an assortment of stone fence pieces all in your front yard.
So I present the dilemma:
What would you do?
It all comes down to being a good citizen.
Should you tell someone that their skirt is tucked into their underwear?
Should you tell someone that they have toilet paper stuck to their shoe?
Should you tell someone that their jeans make them look fat?
Or that there is lettuce stuck in their teeth?
Or that their fly is down?
Should you tell someone that their million dollar investment in yard ornamentation is in fact is the eyesore of the neighborhood and all the whole neighborhood hates them?
I don't know. But since I appreciate a quality awkward situation, I think I would just make friendy neighbor chatter and wait to see how much more awesomeness can possibly go into one yard.
