Senior Citizens Day 2 & 3

They came from near and far. Lured with promises of flu shots, free pens, Costco muffins, scandalous entertainment, raffles, cookie samples, walk in bath tubs, toilet seat raisers and the ever popular Humana bags.

The air was fresh with the smell of icy hot and baby powder.

First, I got to pass out programs to the eager people coming in the door. This was a very demanding job and to be efficient, I had to be able to throw programs like ninja stars as they came storming in.

Once my friend Ted and I got our next assignment, it started to become very clear that I would prefer to stick to my ninja skills as a program girl.

I am not quite sure why, but old people love free stuff. They also love gambling. Since you cannot gamble in Hawaii, they decided to settle for spinning the wheel with the high hopes of winning a free XXL t-shirt, a chip bag clip or a bottle of hand sanitizer. The Humana Insurance Company's booth combined both of these events and included a prize wheel AND a re-usable grocery bag giveaway at their booth. This is where things got out of control. They were not prepared for thousands of people to attend their booth. The line quickly extended all the way up the aisle, through the next three aisles and out the door around the building.

Because of the obvious fire hazard, we had to keep the aisles clear. The solution to this problem was to break the line at each aisle. This left us with small groups of restless seniors at each aisle. Thinking the line was short, people kept trying to cut the line. Much like small children waiting in a line, there was alot of whining, tantrums, screaming, pushing and the rubber leg. Sassy old ladies do not like to be told that they need to wait their turn. They want a blue Humana bag and a chance to spin the wheel RIGHT NOW!!

I spent the next 7 hours standing with my arms out, holding back the masses of restless blue hairs and practically shouting

"If you want a blue Humana bag, you need to get in the end of the line by the doors"

This realization that they could not cut into the middle of the line was always follwed by a tantrum of some sort.

My favorite tantrum was thrown by an old woman who announced "I will not be waiting in that line!"

I said "If you want to be in line for a blue Humana bag, you need to get in the end of the line by the doors."

"NO!"

At this point, I was a little frusterated and sick of old people. She put up a good fight for about 3 minutes. Back and forth, back and forth. Since she was behaving like a two year old, I reciprocated the behavior.

"You are not being nice and it's not fair! If you want a blue bag you need to get into the back of the line!"

She sulked away. And then I got to be on duty in the information booth for the rest of the day.